Memory Lane: Glasgow and the Edinburgh Castle conundrum

Here’s a selfie I took in my hotel room in Glasgow, 2018.

Showing off my Ann Summers purchases and proving that I am in fact capable of wearing matching underwear. Oooooh.

Fucken love Premier Inn. I had originally booked all my UK accommo thru Air BnB, using an account I’d made (and used) for a few trips to the USA, years before I ever hooked.

A month or so before my UK trip I woke up to an email stating I had been perma banned from Air BnB and that they’d be refunding my bookings for London, Liverpool, Peak District, Glasgow and Lichfield.

They didn’t give me a reason, but the 027 phone number I used on that account upon creation several years earlier, did turn into my hooker number for a while, and I did initially display this number on ads before I went email only.

The UK trip was a personal trip and I wasn’t going to use the Air BnBs to hook, but whatever. Fuck Air BnB!

Glasgow was an experience. It was okay, but only good for a few days.  I was there for a whole week.

Struggling for things to do, I took myself to the Glasgow Science Centre, after Google Reviews assured me it would be a fun time for all ages.

I paid £11 to discover it wasn’t.

I did a loop, and then another loop just to be sure.  Big nope. So fucken juvenile, wtf? Stroppy and bored shitless, I flounced off to have a vape in the toilets (klassy laydee that I am) and left.

I wondered despondently (slight hyperbole…but I was a bit disappointed!) along the river Clyde, then back to the Premier Inn to play Asphalt 9: Legends, drink Glenfiddich minis, and question my life choices.

The next day I took a day trip to Edinburgh on the train. Went to Edinburgh Castle, stood outside and loaded up Google Reviews, still smarting from the Glasgow Science Centre experience the day prior. I noticed an entry fee…hmm….bit of a curveball for this simple minded, indecisive gal. Would I get burned again? Should I risk it? I stood there for ages, humming and haa-ing.

Such a tough call! The very toughest of calls in the history of tough calls. (So tough!) Should I phone-a-friend? No, Not with that time difference :(

I walked away, bought some more Glenfiddich minis and some fudge. Went back to the entrance of Edinburgh Castle, stood there eating the fudge, and resumed deliberations.

Ultimately I decided not to bother. “It’ll probably be cold and boring and smell of wees like the castle at Fantasyland”, I told myself.

I have since realised that walking away from Edinburgh Castle = one of my life’s regrets.

Clients love this desperately pathetic story, and best believe they’ve told me my decision was the wrong one. Apart from one client who told me it was boring, but I think he just felt sorry for me and  wanted me to move on to the physical part of the Gemma Rose Experience.

I’d love to go back to Edinburgh Castle some day. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll actually fucken go inside…..

PS: I repeat: Maybe.

PPS: I mean, obviously I would need to spend at least half an hour vaping and eating fudge outside the entrance first, whilst consulting Google Reviews, and also bearing in mind the entrance fee is no doubt higher since the world has since gone to shit, but….